I had to just stop today. Just stop and think, take stock of my life, and have a little cry. You see, there are moments in life when you can see forever, and you just want time to stop then and there. And never move on, because these moments are so beautiful and poignant and you know you will never get them back. I’ve had several such moments since becoming a mum. Simple, quiet moments when I’ve stopped to reflect and just quietly think, and I have known in these moments that I never want to forget.
Every parent has these moments in time, I know I’m not alone. I think of them as fixed points in my universe – memories and feelings that will remain as strong as the day they happened, no matter how much time has passed.
A quiet, dark feed in the middle of the night with a squishy newborn snuggled in, content. The night wraps around you both like velvet, and everything is so still you wonder if time might have stopped, just so that you can have these few precious minutes together.
A spring morning, sunlight streams in through the living room curtains, bathing everything in warm, dappled light. Gentle music fills the room and you gaze down upon your sleeping firstborn in your arms. Relaxing, exhausted but happy in the glider chair, all you can think is that you want to remember this moment forever.
In the blink of an eye, I have a two year old (two!!!) and an almost five month old. As they say, the days are long but the years are short. Much of the time in between has passed in a blur as I’ve battled with chronic illness, post natal depression and the simple rigors of e everyday life. But every so often, I stop. Once in a while, a moment like this will happen to remind me how lucky I am, to have my gorgeous girls and my wonderful husband.
Please share below your special moments – the fixed points in your universe which you will always come back to, each and every one is so special.
I’d like to leave you with something I read today, that I’m sure many of you may have seen before. It brought a tear to my eye, and reminded me to cherish even the hardest moments.
The Last Time
From the moment you hold your baby in your arms,
you will never be the same.
You might long for the person you were before,
When you have freedom and time,
And nothing in particular to worry about.
You will know tiredness like you never knew it before,
And days will run into days that are exactly the same,
Full of feedings and burping,
Nappy changes and crying,
Whining and fighting,
Naps or a lack of naps,
It might seem like a never-ending cycle.
But don’t forget …
There is a last time for everything.
There will come a time when you will feed
your baby for the very last time.
They will fall asleep on you after a long day
And it will be the last time you ever hold your sleeping child.
One day you will carry them on your hip then set them down,
And never pick them up that way again.
You will scrub their hair in the bath one night
And from that day on they will want to bathe alone.
They will hold your hand to cross the road,
Then never reach for it again.
They will creep into your room at midnight for cuddles,
And it will be the last night you ever wake to this.
One afternoon you will sing “the wheels on the bus”
and do all the actions,
Then never sing them that song again.
They will kiss you goodbye at the school gate,
The next day they will ask to walk to the gate alone.
You will read a final bedtime story and wipe your last dirty face.
They will run to you with arms raised for the very last time.
The thing is, you won’t even know it’s the last time
Until there are no more times.
And even then, it will take you a while to realize.
So while you are living in these times,
remember there are only so many of them
and when they are gone, you will yearn for just one more day of them.
For one last time.